With Mother’s Day just a few days away in the US, I’ve been reflecting on what the past few years have been like as a mom celebrating this day. The flowers, the “momosas”, the sleeping in and… The Mother’s Day disappointment.
Mother’s Day 2017
I don’t think I’ll ever forget my first Mother’s Day. Lincoln was 10.5 months old, and I was SO FREAKING EXCITED to get my very first card from him. I had imagined his little footprints stamped on bright colored paper in the shape of a heart or a butterfly or a flower.
And guess what? I wait ALL DAMN DAY for that card. And it never came.
By 7:00 that night I was in tears on the couch with my husband. We had enjoyed such a nice day together. We had a healthy baby boy. The weather was perfection. I got to sleep in and have coffee in bed. We went for a walk as a whole fam. It was a really good day. But there was no handmade card.
The sadness that emerged on his face when he heard why I was so upset is something that I don’t want to see again. So after we hashed out what it was about this elusive card that had my hopes sky high, we chatted about how to avoid this next time. The conversation was uncomfortable. The tears kept coming. But we solved a REALLY BIG PROBLEM in just a few minutes.
Deflating Mother’s Day disappointment
From that day on, both my husband and I have become very communicative about WHAT WE WANT on special occasions and holidays.
Because here’s the cold hard truth. No matter how incredible your partner, your parents, your siblings, your children or your besties are… NO ONE CAN READ YOUR MIND.
Yup, I said it.
If there is something that you desire for Sunday, it is up to you to share that.
You do you, Boo
Does the idea of breakfast in bed make your skin crawl because bacon grease and bed sheets just don’t mix? Totally fine! I’m sure your partner will be relieved they don’t have to balance a tray with all the goodies and risk a big spill.
If you really want to start your day on the couch with warm coffee while the gang is outside. Totally fine. They will likely love running around outside for 10 minutes while you sip in peace.
Will your day be TOTALLY MADE if you get a colorful bouquet of fresh flowers or would you rather stop by the garden store to grab a few pots and plant yourself? Either way is great AS LONG AS you express your desires.
3 simple ways to express your desires to avoid Mother’s Day disappointment
There are a few ways to go about sharing your thoughts about the upcoming weekend. Take a peek at these and pick the one that feels best to you!
1: Bring up this blog post. I am more than happy to be the “scape goat” here.
Example: “Babe, you know that sleep account I follow? Well, there was a new blog this week all about how to have the best Mother’s Day yet. It was suggested that in order to have a really awesome day together that I share with you my ideal day. This is what that looks like…”
2: Drop hints.
Example: Leave a sticky note on the counter with a Mother’s Day wish list that outlines 2 or 3 things that would make the day so perfect for you!
3: Shoot it straight.
Example: “I’ve been thinking a bit about the past Mother’s Day weekends, and I’ve realized that this year instead of making a big meal for dinner that requires a ton of clean up, I’d much prefer if we picked up take out. I can’t wait to see what you guys decide to grab!”
3 quick questions you can ask the moms in your life
If you want to know what the special women in your life desire for this weekend, all you need to do is ask! Here are a few ways to start the conversation.
1: Bring up this blog post. I am (still) more than happy to be the “scape goat” here. 🙂
Example: “Aunt Sue, you know that sleep account I follow? Well, there was a new blog this week all about how to have the best Mother’s Day yet. It was suggested that in order to have a really awesome day together that I ask you what your ideal day would be like. What do you think would be on your list?”
2: Send a “fill in the blank” text ASAP.
Example: “Hey Hon. I am trying to get plans finalized for Sunday. Can you fill in the blank for me on these?”
If I could have anything to drink on Mother’s Day it would be…
If I could order from any restaurant in town, I would choose…
If I were to pick fresh flowers or a plant, I would pick…
3: Shoot it straight.
Example: “I’ve been thinking a bit about the past Mother’s Day weekends, and I’ve realized that I’ve never really asked you how you’ve felt about what I’ve planned. I can’t wait to celebrate you this weekend in a way that you want. If you could pick 2 things to make this coming weekend special, what would they be?”
But what about surprise?
You can ABSOLUTELY decide to not share any of hopes, dreams and wishes for the upcoming Mother’s Day. That is your choice and if waiting around for the day waiting on an incredible surprise fills your cup, do it.
But you cannot be frustrated that someone else was unable to read your mind. And you certainly can’t fall victim to Mother’s Day disappointment.
Happy Mother’s Day
No matter what you end up doing to celebrate (or how surprised you are by what Sunday brings), we are sending you the biggest Mother’s Day hug. You are the best mom for your family. You are doing a kick ass job. We see you working your tail off to be all the things to all the people. Take a breather on Sunday. YOU DESERVE IT!
Brittney and the Sleeper Teachers
PS — Getting handmade cards from Linc is now my VERY FAVORITE part of celebrating special events with our family!