How to Maintain Your Identity as a Mom

You were someone before you were their mom, and that person matters...

Guest Post by Cynthia Shedd, Uniquely You with Cynthia

You were someone before you were their mom, and that person matters!

Have you ever thought about the words that you want people to associate with you? Have those words changed drastically since you became a mom? Do you feel like you have an identity as a mom?

I have come to realize over that last few years just how much our clothing and style are a form of personal branding that communicate to the world how we want to be treated.

When people first see me, do they think I’m intelligent, confident, trustworthy, funny and vivacious? I certainly hope so, but I often wonder if they see me that way especially on the days I sport a messy mom bun, yesterday’s yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt.

“Clothes are a language by which we are judged: a shorthand that allows us to communicate with others, and an expression of our feelings of self-worth or status” (Financial Times).

It can be so easy use to lose our identity as a mom and put our own needs last. So in this post, I will be sharing with you the most important steps for taking control of your closet to feel like your very best self and take control of your day!

Part 1: Simplify your closet to save time and reclaim your identity as a mom

First, we are going to walk through the idea of a capsule wardrobe. This is the concept that by simplifying our closet and focusing on a collection of a few essential and quality items of clothing. Through this, we can get more out of our day physically, emotionally, and mentally and be clear about our personal identity as a mom.

Did you know that the average woman spends about 22 ½ minutes getting ready each morning? That’s almost 137 hours per year! Wow, that’s a lot of time I could be binging on Netflix!

What would you do with an additional 22 minutes in your day? I would sleep in. Seriously. And it would be great to do less laundry without all those random “I don’t like the way this looks” piles of clothes sitting on the floor.

To make changes to your closet you must “Think of your closet as valuable real estate. Don’t let items linger without paying rent. If you don’t wear it or love it, evict it”.

Oftentimes, so much of our closet is full of clothes that we think we should love, or that we loved at one point but don’t reflect who we currently are. Some items are an unrealistic wish of who we want to be.

To bring simplicity to your closet, first you need to take an honest look at who you are now and who you are striving to be. Then, take a peek inside the walls of your closet to see if the items in there embody that woman and the identity you are upholding.

Part 2: Simplify your decision making to stick to your identity as a mom

We can streamline the process by following 3 simple steps, and who doesn’t want simple… Especially as a mom?!

Once you have laid the foundation by getting your closet in line, let’s look at the process for building a complete look.

These are 3 easy and quick steps to achieve a put together look that tells the world that you have your act together (even if you don’t). I will walk you through the steps below but in short they are: build the basics, add fashion and complete the look with some bling! Simple, right?!

Step 1: Select your basics

Choose a few standard colors and try to stay within those neutrals. And don’t worry, neutrals don’t have to mean boring! Burgundy and olive are personally two of my favorite neutrals. Identity as a mom doesn’t have to just mean beige and navy!

This is basically the idea of having some staple colors and items that are easily interchangeable, yet classic. A bit of insider advice? This is the area where it’s good to invest your time and money in finding that perfect fitting pair of jeans or amazing blazer. You are building a strong foundation and jump starting your identity as a mom!

Step 2: Add those fashion pieces

Add shoes, bags, scarves, cardigans, purses, etc. LAYER LAYER LAYER and HAVE FUN! You are crafting a look here. Imagine step 2 as the items that add flair and individuality to your wardrobe.

Pay attention to what’s in season and style but also remember that there are always going to be a few fashion prints/patterns/textures that never go out of style. And if you have a few funky pieces you love, keep them! You do you, mama!

Step 3: Complete your look with jewelry

Jewelry completes your look. Whether it’s a great pair of statement earrings, a beautiful layered necklace or a bracelet that creates a rockin’ arm party, it’s often said that jewelry is like frosting on a cupcake, without it you are just a muffin. Side note, muffins are delicious and I am NOT a muffin hater, but sometimes you want to be a cupcake!

A great thing about jewelry is that these smaller, shinier details can help distract from areas that cause us to lack confidence. Jewelry can help bring attention from the hips to the lips, from the thighs to the eyes, and from your rear to your ears! Now that’s a win win.

Depending on the type of piece you are wearing, you can distract 5-15 pounds from areas of your body that you are not loving at that moment. Plus, I don’t know about you but when I see a sparkly ring in the sunshine, I can’t help but smile 🙂

Showing up for yourself and your identity as a mom

When it comes down to it, having pride in how we create and communicate our style is one way that we show ourselves that we are ready to be present and get stuff done!

Showing up for yourself is another way of saying and acting in ways that demonstrate that you love yourself, value the unique person you were created to be, or just taking that breather because you need it and YOU MATTER. Showing up is “holding yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection” because you acknowledge that you are perfectly imperfect and the important thing is that you are trying.

So the next time you are getting dressed, I want you to ask yourself: “Do I love myself in this shirt?”, or “Do I feel beautiful when I wear this dress?” because in the end, confidence is key!

If you are confident in yourself, it will permeate all areas of your life! And as a mom, it shows your children the valuable lesson of loving themselves. Maintaining your own identity as a mom also shows your littles the importance of being true to yourself!

So mama, be Uniquely You, and show the world just how special truly YOU are!!!

XOXO, Cynthia (and Benji, too)

Cynthia is a style consultant and is great at helping to regain your identity as a mom! She is married to her college sweetheart who is the kindest, most eccentric man she has ever met. Together they have a 13 month old son who can be best described as a delightful ball of curiosity and chaos! Cynthia has been a member of Premier Designs for over three years and loves the connections and friendships that Premier has helped her create!

Running a small business has helped her family to pay their bills and put food on the table, but more than that it has helped with her build her self-confidence, self-esteem, and her own identity as a mom! For all of your style, jewelry and confidence needs check out Cynthia’s website and be sure to follow her @uniquelyyouwithcynthia on Instagram

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